Update on Me

The holidays were harder for me than I’d anticipated.

I guess it came out rather clear in my previous entries, I was bitter and a little depressed. It is hard moving away, and of course I knew it would be. I expected it. What I didn’t get was that other people wouldn’t comprehend how much I desperately needed them to step up in my life, as a source of continuity and as a warm steady rhythm to combat the cold spaces left by being alone with our little family in a foreign nation. Of course we create our own family traditions and find joy in each other, but sometimes it’s important to feel needed, wanted and loved by those outside the circle. And it’s nice to feel that others are interested in the life we’re leading. I want to know what’s going on with all of you, it’s wonderful to know you want to know the same of us.
I want to send my thanks and love to those who have stood by us and made there presence known, even from 8000 miles away.
My parents have always communicated via e-mail, been on the end of the phone line and plied us with snailmail. They have definitely kept me grounded, no matter the time or day. They flew 30 hours to reconnect personally this past week. Some would say “But they’re your parents, they have to” and the reality is no, they don’t. But they do anyway and for that there are no words good enough to say thanks and I love you. Well, maybe that did it right there.
Jeff is a dear friend to our troupe. He visited us in Florida, and regularly in Maryland and Virginia. We consider him part of our family. If it didn’t sound dorky, the kids would call him Uncle Jeff. But Jeff’s a real uncle now, so I guess Mr. Jeff will have to suffice. *wink* He’s always been a ready ear when the doldrums of life get to me, sends postcards from his adventures, and generally takes an interest in what’s going on over here. We miss having you over, Jeff, but know that you’re in our thoughts every day.
Christine and I were friends at Marymount, but life dragged us in opposite directions. Then last fall we crossed each other’s paths in e-mail and have been writing back and forth ever since. I’m so glad to have you back as a friend and appreciate the time you take to keep in contact.
Elise has been willing to offer an ear, suggestions and samples whenever the need arose, no matter how tired she’s been. Our friendship has been fitful as we’re two very different people, but for some reason we keep hanging on. Thanks for being there.
Amy from theparentperspective, it means so much that you keep up with the family log and want to e-mail. Even though we haven’t met, it’s so nice to chat with you about the silliness and trials of raising little kids. Thanks for initiating a new friendship.
And I can’t leave out our local friends, Ryan and Laura, who have no qualms about babysitting the kids, spending Christmas with us, or inviting our gang over at the last minute for lunch, playground time and really pathetic game of Taboo. Next time it’s Boggle, though that can’t possibly be fair with Ryan’s knowledge of two letter words can it? We love spending time with you. Next time, our place.
Life gets busy for everyone. I appreciate all of you for keeping us in your thoughts even during your busy days, weeks and months.
It’s a new year and I’m determined to start it off right, by counting my blessings and being thankful for those who have added so much to my life. Having my parents here put many things into perspective. I was wasting a lot of energy being frustrated and bemoaning the friends lost over the past years. What good lies on that path? My father saw what was happening via my writing of the last few weeks. He sent me a book called _The Power of Positive Thinking_ and I’ll start it this week. He and I spent a morning out together where we had a chance to talk over errands and lunch at the Pastelleria. We talked about the evolution of friendships over time, about his plans for the year and about where I should go from here. Personally I’d like to have more children, but realistically I should look into a program that will enable me to teach in the kids’ schools, work in the Embassies or support the medical units. We’ll have 6-9 months in Virginia in 2005 so the opportunity is there. My heart isn’t set on it, but in 2006 all my kids will be in school so then what? Without more babies to fill our home I’ll have to look to the community for a daily purpose during school hours. Anyhow, it’s something to mull over the next year.